A Teammate for Life

Kaitlyn Dante was not a star player, just a shining star

By Matt Poling

Journal Sports Writer

AUGUSTA - If there is anything that those who cared about Kaitlyn Dante can take comfort in, it's that the 17-year-old lived everyday to the fullest and tried to make those around her happier in the process.

If those are the barometers for a good person, then Dante's life was a resounding success.

The girl who loved to sing ever since she was a wee tyke and was always smiling, was a leader on her volleyball and basketball teams at Hampshire High School, and was a friend to everyone was tragically killed on Sept. 19. That Sunday morning was like any other as Dante and her mom, Rhonda Dante, were driving to Augusta Church of Christ to pay a visit to God.

She did, but not the way she had envisioned.

An automobile accident took her life and that of another person, Jane Ann Stehle, 57, of Augusta.

If numbers mean anything, then the roughly 1,000 people who showed up for Dante's funeral show that others cared as much for her as she did for them.

Her death left a school struck by tragedy much too often without one of its favorite people. Hampshire has had at least six students killed in the last three years. The sad, ironic part of Dante's death is she was involved in Peer Helpers, a group of students who helped to counsel grieving students in times of tragedy.

A Helping Heart

Of course, no matter what she was doing, the first thing everyone remembers about Dante was her smile.

"Her smile, she was constantly smiling," said Troy Crane, her basketball coach at Hampshire.

"She was a friend to anyone. I wanted people to remember her through the little things," said Kate Ritz, one of Dante's best friends who gave the eulogy. "She said hello to everybody.

"We would get off the volleyball bus and, no matter where we went, she would be going 'oh, hey' to the other team. She seemed to know everyone."

Perhaps that's because Dante was so involved with seemingly everything.

She was a member of the National Honor Society, while Dante was much more than just an athlete who made good grades.

Dante didn't waste a minute of her life.

She was a member of the Harmony Show Choir, a group that traveled to different places to perform; the Romney 4H Club; Energy Express, a summer program that helps kids read; and this summer she volunteered at the Winchester Medical Center.

And that's just a partial list.

That last experience, combined with the fact her mom is a nurse, cemented what Dante wanted to be after college: a nurse practitioner. To those who knew Dante best, it was no surprise to see her choose a career that would allow her to help others.

"There was never a time where she put herself before others," said Zach Shackelford, Dante's boyfriend. "She was always helping people, doing things for other people."

Perhaps the best example of Dante's helping heart was this past August during the Hampshire County Fair. Dante had won the 2003 Junior Miss Hampshire County, a job that requires the winner to return for the next year's event. A little girl was fussing with her mother about how she didn't like her new dress. Dante, standing nearby on the stage, leaned down and told the girl "I think you look beautiful in that dress."

Problem solved.

The Athlete

Dante wasn't a standout athlete, but she had enough skills combined with a great work ethic and positive attitude to make her an effective player.

"She was not a star player, but her skills got a lot stronger over the last year," Hampshire volleyball coach Megan Fuller said. "I was surprised the first day of practice. She was very consistent all the way around. She was a leader, a team mom."

Despite playing sports at a young age, Dante did not start playing her favorite sports - volleyball - until the eighth grade.

Standing at just 5-foot-7, Dante didn't want her volleyball career to end at Hampshire, however. After having played on a Junior Olympic traveling volleyball team from Martinsburg this past year and with a strong senior season, Dante wanted to test her skills in college.

"I know she had high hopes of playing volleyball at Shepherd," Ritz said. "She considered not playing basketball to focus on volleyball."

Her role during her three years on the Hampshire basketball team was the same. So was her attitude and work ethic.

"Even as a coach coming to practice she picked up your spirits," Crane said. "Nothing cracked that personality. She was always strong."

A Lost Love

Shackelford is one person in particular who was hit hard by the loss of Dante. The two had been dating for seven months, but were best friends for five years.

The two met at a dance in the eighth grade when the Dante family was still living in Mineral County. Once Dante's family moved to Hampshire County right before her freshman year, the two became friends.

But the decision to take the step from friendship to being a couple took some time.

"We always had feelings for each other, the chemistry was always there. (But) we weren't sure if it was the right thing to do because of how things can ruin friendships," said Shackelford, a senior on the football team. "We would talk and talk about our feelings for one another. We finally said we need to make something more out of it because everything that was in our relationship was perfect."

But just as Shackelford had finally found his first love, he lost another. His father, Richard, died of cancer at the age of 46, just a month after the two started dating.

At the time, Dante was in Italy as a foreign exchange student. When she returned, it brought the two even closer together.

By the end of this summer, both had decided to attend Shepherd University in 2005. Zach plans to major in business.

Dante's devotion to him showed when their senior year started. Shackelford decided to take a business law class at Potomac State College to get a head start for college. Despite it having nothing to do with Dante's major-to-be, she took the class, too.

"When I was talking to (Rhonda) she told me about the class Kaitlyn and I were taking," Zach remembered. "It has nothing to do with her major, but Kaitlyn told her she took it because 'Zach is in it, plus when we get married I can help him with the business.'"

"They had their lives planned out," said Julie Shackelford, Zach's mom.

"They were close, very close," said Dante's father, Patrick Dante. "Who knows what was going to happen? They really hit it off."

A Hazardous Stretch

The strip of U.S. 50 where Augusta Church of Christ is located is as straight as any one can find in Hampshire County.

As Rhonda waited to make a left-hand turn to the church, a 2002 Dodge RV smashed into her car from behind.

Rhonda's 2002 Oldsmobile Alero was pushed into the westbound lane where a group of motorcycles was on a charity Poker Run. The impact of one of the motorcycles caused Rhonda to suffer breaks in her pelvis, femur, right arm and right side of her face. Stehle, the other victim, was riding with the motorcycles.

Rhonda would have surely bled to death had it not been for volunteer firefighter Alan Judy, who was one of the motorcyclists. His fire department was less than 1,000 feet from the accident, which allowed him to get the Jaws of Life and get Rhonda out of the car.

Rhonda just started physical therapy last week and Patrick said he hopes to have her back home by Thanksgiving. A year of physical therapy lies ahead for a full recovery, however.

The investigating officer, Trooper J.E. Whisner said charges are pending against Marjorie Green, the driver of the Dodge. As the investigation continues, a decision based on missing information, such as witness accounts and a reconstruction of the accident will allow him to decide on "which path to take."

Because the investigation is continuing, Whisner would not say whether speed played a role in the accident. But a witness, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said Green was easily exceeding the 55 miles per hour speed limit.

Green has yet to contact either family to express remorse. She declined comment for this story.

"She must not have any feelings," Patrick Dante said. "She never said anything to anybody. It's just shocking."

Members of the church have already began lobbying the Hampshire County Commission to lower the speed limit in the area to 40 mph. Three years ago, members of the church had asked state highway officials for a left-turn lane into the church, according to the Hampshire Review.

Moving on, But Still Remembering

Time usually heals all wounds. While everyone who loved Dante will move on with their lives, the grieving process has just begun.

"It's been really hard because Kaitlyn's irreplaceable," Ritz said. "We were involved in almost everything together. It's hard to have that void going to volleyball after school, going to class.

"It's surreal because we were saying how hard it would be if we lost each other."

Shackelford, too, has had a hard time coping. Because going to Shepherd will remind him of Dante, he's decided to go to West Virginia University next fall.

"Going back to school is hard because she was everywhere. Walking her to class everyday, walking her to volleyball practice after school; it's hard to deal with when I got back," he said. "The biggest thing that helped me, other than my family, is my friends. Kaitlyn's family has been wonderful to me. They treated me like family.

"I'm trying to get back into things. There's not a second that goes by she's not on my mind. Even when she was alive she was on my mind 24/7. Now it's worse because I don't have her to see anymore."

A Web site has been set up with a scholarship in her name. Donations can be made on the site, www.kaitlyndante.com. Those who knew Dante in any way can also share stories and memories about her.

In order for everyone to best remember Dante, Ritz wanted to make sure she got one message across when she read the eulogy: she asked everyone there to do something to make someone else's day brighter, to make the world a better place.

There could be no better tribute to the unforgettable Kaitlyn Dante.

- Matt Poling can be reached at 263-8931, ext. 132 or e-mail mpoling@journal-news.net.

Comments or suggestions can be sent to JohnDante@KaitlynDante.com.